


The Ghost of Dead Hand Pete

by bluemermaid



Category: Homestar Runner
Genre: Gen, ToT: Monster Mash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-27 00:05:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8379730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid/pseuds/bluemermaid
Summary: There's a ghost outside Strong Bad's window.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Healy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Healy/gifts).



> Happy Halloween! Humor isn't normally my strong suit so I hope this works for you. :)

"Ooooooooooh. Oooooooooooh."

Strong Bad sat up in bed. "What the crap is that?" He looked towards the window, where a billowing dark shadow lurked behind the curtains. 

"Booooooooo. I'm a ghoooooooooost," said the shadow.

"Oh, no. I'm so scared," Strong Bad said, voice deadpan. His eyes narrowed. "Homestar, come out from there."

He startled as a ceiling panel suddenly cracked open above him, revealing the face of Homestar Runner. "Oh, hi, Strong Bad," he said calmly.

"What," said Strong Bad.

An eerie whistling sound came from outside. "Oooooooooooh."

"Homestar, what are you doing up there?!" Strong Bad asked, shaking a fist up towards the ceiling and pretending that the ghost outside was of no concern. This Halloween was getting stranger by the minute.

The ceiling panel jiggled as Homestar shifted, lowering himself slightly out from the crawlspace. "What? Oh. I just love a good ceiling nap." He smiled and bobbed his head. "I do it all the time."

"In my room," Strong Bad replied. Homestar shrugged. "Well, if you're up there, what's that thing outside?"

The two of them stared for a moment. The shadow fluttered threateningly at them. Homestar blinked. "Boooooooo," said the shadow.

Homestar began to slide slowly back up into the ceiling. "I don't know, Strong Bad, but I am not staying around to be haunted by some ghost. No, no, no. I'll be up here if you need me. Just call for Good Ol' Homestar. That's me. Homestar Runner. I'll be here. Not hiding scared. Nope." The ceiling panel slammed shut.

"I'm not scared of a ghost," Strong Bad said firmly, crawling out of bed. He walked over and ripped the curtains open, revealing that which lurked outside of his window.

It was a sheet hung over a tree branch.

"Very funny," said Strong Bad, shaking his head. "The nerve of these peoples. Does no one know how to pull off a proper Halloween prank anymore? Pathetic. F minus minus." He pulled the curtain so hard that the rod slipped, crashing to the floor. 

"I'm going back to sleep to dream of modestly hot girls," Strong Bad said, stomping off towards his bed again. "I'm not scared of a sheet."

"Oooooooooooooooooh," said the sheet.

Strong Bad glared at it. "Who's doing that?!" He was starting to get irritated now. Annoyed. Angry. Definitely not scared. "I'm not shaking!"

The ceiling rattled overhead. Strong Bad ignored it. 

Lightning flashed outside, accompanied by a sharp organ chord, which was meant to strike fear into the hearts of many. The sheet twisted in the wind, forming the shape of an ominous monster, with multiple arms and the faint shrill scream of a banshee. Strong Bad shivered and pulled the blankets over his head, trembling. "Strooooooong Bad. You must atooooooone for your siiiiiiins."

"Wh-what?" 

"Your siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiins."

"My what??"

The voice suddenly dropped an octave, mysteriously losing its spooky drawl. "You stole some candy from the kids in town. You need to give it back."

"WHAT?" Strong Bad threw the blankets off his head. "Give it back? That was my best haul yet! I'm the king of candy thieves! It was a caper of epic proportions!"

"Give it baaaaaaaaaaaaaack," said the sheet ghost.

"Make me," said Strong Bad.

A tree branch crashed through the glass of the window, sending shards of glass across the room. A streak of something gross and green seeped into the room from the bottom corner of the window. The ooze crept across the floor, inching towards Strong Bad's bed bit by bit.

"Strong Bad, it's the ghost of Dead Hand Pete!" Homestar cried from overhead, his voice squeaking with fright. "He lurks outside windows on Halloween night, frightening pranksters into giving up their candy! Save us!" The ceiling panels began to rattle faster and faster.

"Waaaait a minute," said Strong Bad, sliding out of bed. He grasped the bag of candy which lay on the floor beside him. "This isn't just some prank to get my candy, is it?"

Lightning struck again, illuminating a tall figure holding a big knife. "Give it to meeeeeeeeeeee," it shrieked.

Strong Bad had had enough. He leaped into the air, throwing his bag of candy as hard as he could. It soared through the open window, smacking the ghost figure straight in the face – if it had a face at all. Upon impact, the lightning ceased, and the wind stopped its horrible howl. 

The sheet vanished, along with Strong Bad's candy.

The world returned to normal again; the stars were shining, the air was calm, and the trail of green ooze shriveled up and evaporated from the floor. Strong Bad crawled back into bed and curled up in his blankets. "Stupid ghosts," he muttered angrily. "Stupid candy-stealers. Stupid scary monster sheets. Stupid...." He began to drift off into a troubled sleep. "Stupid...stupid...Demon's Crest...."

From up in the ceiling, Homestar Runner breathed a sigh of relief. "No more ghosts up in here," he said happily, settling in for a good old ceiling nap.

And so the ghost of Dead Hand Pete wandered off into the night, to bring its terror to more of those who deserved it, those unfortunate souls who needed to atone for their sins.

Or, you know, Strong Sad and Marzipan just tossed off their sheet disguise and headed out to return all the candy Strong Bad had stolen. 

"That was really good, Strong Sad," Marzipan said, her ponytail bouncing along as she walked. "I especially liked the green ooze. It was really scary!"

"The ooze? I thought that was you," Strong Sad replied.

They stopped in their tracks, sharing a frightened glance before they looked back towards the house. A sheet still fluttered on a tree branch. 

"Nah, it couldn't be..." said Strong Sad. "Could it?"

The End...or is it????


End file.
